Dream Diary

(No, Prof. Trelawney did not ask me to do this.)

Everybody dreams. I am referring to dreams we have at night as we sleep. We actually dream all the time, but we only remember the more prominent ones and the impression they leave behind. At other times, we just... dream without knowing about it.

There is a Chinese saying that sounds like this: what you think during the day, you dream at night. There is more or less some truth to this, but really dreams are something that you can't really help it.

And sometimes, that can be quite scary.

Nightmares. Maybe that is why our parents don't let us watch horror movies at night when we were very young; our then young and fragile minds would not be able to withstand the stimulation, and we ended up crying out loud for Daddy and Mummy.

One can still have nightmares even without horror movies. I am very curious at how it works, but our brain is able to rope in themes in our lives and somehow 'write' them out like a movie. The Chinese saying is somehow accurate here, as the more we think about these themes, chances are that they will most probably appear in our dreams. Sometimes we dream about friends and the events in life, may be lovers (O.o?) .

I had one nightmare which I could still vividly remember till today. And that was like 7-8 years ago.

I think me and my brother were, at that time, heavily engrossed in gunfights. We pestered our parents until the house turned upside down, so that they will buy us our weapons. Then we would load the guns and started firing at will, mostly at human bodies. Sometimes it got so interesting that we invited friends over to join in the cowboy game. And it was quite painful if you got hit, and the squeals added to the fun.

So my dream started with us firing at each other. I forgot what happened until my brother was laying under me, and I was holding my best jet black gun.

Everything happened quickly.

I saw myself lifting up my arm and aimed the muzzle directly at his head. Yes, I was watching the entire scenario as a third party. Subconsciously, I think I knew what was going to happen, as my real present self started crying profusely in my sleep. I saw myself and my brother staring at each other for a second.

I pulled the trigger.

The sound was not like our usual plastic one. It was loud and real. So was the bullet. Everything spilled outside when it hit home. The present me cried even more terribly. The scene dissolved...

I woke up to find my pillow wet with tears, lungs choked with air and heart filled with emotions. I cried again, a forlorn 10-year-old holding his pillow and weeping. I cried until I tire, and then I got up to check on my brother's room. I was glad, so glad to see him sleeping soundly, that I threatened to cry again.

Mum caught me in the hall as I was searching for her. She was startled to find her teary son, and immediately inquired the obvious. I broke into small tears and told her my dream. She held me in her arms and consoled me, while I was repeatedly apologising.

In the Bible, the book of Daniel, the 'Daniel' was able to interpret dreams and convey their meanings. I wondered what he would say about my dream, and afraid that its meaning might hit me too hard and harsh.

It was a long time ago, and whenever the word 'dream' is pronounced, I would recall it clearly, and feel the tears I shed on my pillow.